The other night, Alex introduced me to what appears to be a new search engine of some sort that he "discovered" while gooning on the Something Awful forums. For those of you unawares, Chacha is special in that it provides the opportunity to actually have a live chat with an operator of sorts who searches for things on the internet FOR you. While it seems that this search engine would appeal only to the elderly or the inept, it can also be used as a source of entertainment; namely, for people who use internet-anonymity to fulfill their dick-ish tendancies.

Here's a sample search session that Alex had with some unfortunate individual last night. Apparently he wanted to submit it to SA, but did not, on account he is slow and lazy.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: StephanieA
StephanieA: Welcome to ChaCha!
Alex: hi i need a picture of a cat that looks like a watermelon
Alex: sorry car
Alex: ha ha a cat that looks like a watermelon that would be very crazy
StephanieA: Let me see what I can find... one moment please
Alex: hurry please i'm on a deadline
StephanieA: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
StephanieA: finding lots of cars, but none that look like a watermelon
Alex: that can't be true
Alex: how can there be no cars that look like watermelons
StephanieA: I don't know, I think it would look great.
Alex: my boss says he needs a picture right away to show his wife
Alex: although i don't think she's supposed to be here this much
StephanieA: Here you go
StephanieA: Did you get it?
Alex: that's like a car made out of wood
Alex: that won't work at all
StephanieA: Found another.
Alex: oh wow
StephanieA: Is this what you wanted?
Alex: that is exactly what i wanted thank you
Alex: i will take this to my boss right away
StephanieA: You're welcome, take care.
Alex: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.

Not satisfied with his photo of a watermelon-car, Alex returned for more.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: N.D
N.D: Welcome to ChaCha!
N.D: Hi
Alex: hi
Alex: i just did a search for watermelon car with stephanieA and she found me a picture, but my boss says it's too small
N.D: OK
Alex: i printed it out and showed it to him and he yelled "too small" at me
N.D: Are these results sufficient?
Alex: the first one is a bumper car, and the second one is the smallest picture i've ever seen
Alex: are there any bigger ones
N.D: No, sorry I can't seem to find any others.
N.D: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
Alex: try melon car
N.D: How
N.D: is that?
Alex: oh my god, abraham lincoln AND a melon car
Alex: PERFECT
Alex: thank you so much
N.D: Great!
N.D: You are very welcome!
Status: Session ended.

Intrigued, I decided to make an attempt of my own.

Status: Connected to guide: LindaB
LindaB: Welcome to ChaCha! I will be helping with your search.
Josh: hello, what I need is a picture of a really creepy dog.
LindaB: what kind of a creepy dog do you want?
Josh: it needs to be an image of a dog that is creepy and unsettling
LindaB: any dog, or is there a particular picture you have seen before?
Josh: it doesn't really matter the type of dog... it just needs to be vaguely unsettling... like, it seems normal at first, but gets creepier the more you look at it
Josh: maybe a labrador. that would make it even creepier if you could find a picture like that, since they are usually very friendly
Josh: Did you find anything yet?
Josh: Hello?
Status: Session ended.

It looks like LindaB, whom I'm 90% sure was probably a spam-bot, grew tired of me almost immediately and abandoned our conversation... probably to find more things that look like watermelons. I will never use Chacha again.